Welcome to the bar of self-soothing

If you're feeling dissociated (detached) from your surroundings, ground yourself with a strong physical sensation. Try plunging your hands into a bag of rice, feeling the grains fall off your skin. Take a cold shower, wear your clothes in the shower and feel how the fabric changes as they get soaked. Take something cold from your freezer and lay it on your head, neck, stomach. Smell some coffee beans. Run a hairbrush over your legs or arms. Let it bring you back to the space your body occupies.

Requires headphones, ear buds or a bluetooth speaker and a playlist of tunes that make you want to boogie. Wear footwear that will protect your feet from rocks and barnacles (or dance barefoot in soft sand or mud). Don't forget sunscreen (or a hat), bring a big bottle of water, and imagine you are alone by the water. Dance in the shallow water for extra sensory points. Imagine all your fucks about what other people think of your dancing skills as bubbles in the water, and try to burst them. 

Gather smooth rocks and decorate them with cheap acrylic paint, sharpies or paint markers for low mess and ease of use. If you can't think of a design, write a word, phrase or equation that is meaningful to you and embellish with dots. Seal with clear varnish or don't. Hide the rocks somehwere public, like in a park or along a sidewalk, for other people to find. Join a rockpainting group (I bet there's one in your area) and post pics of your rocks before you hide them or after you find them.

If you have a favorite game, play it. Choose a game that doesn't make you feel stressed or frustrated, one you are good at or that you enjoy playing. Get good at it. Find others who play it and game with them. Look for gaming groups on Reddit, Discord, Twitch or other network and you may even develop gaming buddies, which are sometimes the best kinds of buddies to have. My highschool buddy and I play Fortnite together, one of the few times in recent memory that I've laughed until I cried.

If you have a favorite creative medium, use it. Don't worry about the end product, just play with it mindlessly until something begins to emerge. Try a new medium: you can look through art and craft websites like Michaels, Dick Blick, Mr Art etc for ideas. Model something weird out of clay or sculpey. Make some jewelry out of beads and wire. Paint or draw something abstract. Cut out pics from old magazines and make surreal collages. Write a stream of consciousness poem. Make something. It's fun.

Too exhausted to do anything at all? Turn on your favorite old series (Battlestar Galactica), a feel-good comedy (The Good Place, Community or Parks and Rec), or a calming nature series like Planet Earth and escape into something uplifting until you feel rested enough to try something that requires more effort.

If you do a lot of anxious muscle tensing, it can cause painful knots that can worsen an already bad mood. To alleviate back pain, try a sturdy foam roller and use it to stretch your shoulder muscles by laying on it lengthwise and letting your shoulders drop back to the floor. For sore spots, put a tennis ball in a long sock and lean against a wall with the ball over the muscle knot. Target face or head muscles with a stone pestle or your thumbs. Stretch your arms, legs, back & neck often.

Orgasms release natural endorphins and other chemicals that do more than feel good in the moment. Lingering effects of bursts in these chemicals can help alleviate pain and can boost your mood (temporarily). The most powerful orgasms are often self-induced, so don't be ashamed to give yourself a little gift in the shower or whenever you have a moment to yourself.

We can help our bodies combat the intense overwhelm of panic responses. To help your body relax when your mind is freaking out, try crossing your arms behind your head and leaning backwards. Take regular, deep 7-11 breaths (inhale for the count of 7, exhale for the count of 11). Put your hand over your heart and feel it beating. Listen to it racing, and then count as it gradually slows. Keep counting slowly until your heart beats match your count. Stretch your arms, legs, spine, neck, pelvis.

If you have access to a consenting partner, cuddle up however is comfortable. Skin-on-skin contact can stimulate feel-good chemicals in our brains and comfort our nervous system. If you have a willing pet, snuggle them however they'll allow. Bury your face in their fur, stroke their backs, scratch behind the ears, however they like you to love them. Give them all the loves. If you're alone, cuddle a pillow or stuffed animal under a blanket. Touch yourself the way you want to be touched.

Give yourself a little reward for every day that you wake up and keep trying, especially the hard ones. Try your favorite treat from childhood, or something you've been craving. Take yourself out to coffee or brunch. Buy yourself a little prize- a pair of earrings, a cool hat, a comfy shirt, a new game or gadget, or splurge on a night in a hotel. Set up long term rewards for bigger goals. Celebrate milestones and when you meet a goal. Congratulate yourself for following through and perservering.

Design something beautiful, meaningul or interesting to commemorate surviving for this long. You don't have to get it permanently tattooed (although it's an optio; you can draw it on your skin with henna or washable ink if you prefer a temporary version. Sketch out some ideas first and incorporate symbols, words or images that remind you of what you love, what you yearn for, where you've been or what resonates with you. Look at Pinterest boards for ideas and make your own board for inspiration.